Disappointment, Disillusionment, Devastation
A Framework for Understanding Our Hurt
How would you rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10? For the longest time, I didn’t know how to answer that question. What does a 1 feel like? How about a 10? After giving birth without an epidural and nearly passing out from a gallbladder attack (acute cholecystitis) hours before surgeons removed it, I’d say I’ve got a pretty good grasp on what constitutes a 9 or 10. But what about the rest?
Sometimes doctors’ offices have cute little pain scales on the wall. Maybe you’ve seen the one with the smiling and grimacing faces. But have you seen the Improved Pain Scale? On that scale, 9 is equivalent to being mauled by bears or ninjas. It’s most helpful when asking your kids how bad it hurts.
Before these scales help us communicate about our pain, they help us pay attention to it. When we notice our pain, we can consider not only how severe it is but also the type of pain it is. For example, before I visit my chiropractor, she asks me to describe my pain. Is it aching, burning, throbbing, stabbing, dull, sharp, or radiating? How does it feel on a scale of 1 to 10? She asks because understanding the type and severity of pain helps her know the problem and how best to treat it.
The same can be true with work-related pain. We need to identify what type it is and how bad it hurts to understand it and begin to heal.
Three Types of Work Hurt
On November 1, I attended Women, Work, and Calling 2024 where I participated on a panel on the beauty and brokenness in work. During that panel, I shared a framework from my forthcoming book, When Work Hurts. The framework identifies three types of work hurt: disappointment, disillusionment, and devastation.
Disappointment
Disappointment is when work fails to live up to our hopes or expectations. We can experience a wide range of disappointments in our work—from everyday frustrations like the printer being out of paper or your new recipe being a bust to not getting the raise or promotion you had hoped for.
Disillusionment
Disillusionment happens when work challenges your deeply held assumptions or beliefs about the way the world operates. For example, you might feel disillusioned when you discover that a coworker’s character isn’t what you thought or when your company claims to be focused on employee well-being and yet regularly expects you to work nights and weekends in addition to the 40 hours you already put in each week.
Devastation
Devastation occurs when work completely overwhelms us and brings us to our knees in grief. This is when you get laid off unexpectedly or realize that you were complicit in harm and suffering caused by a product created by your company.
You’ll find a more in-depth explanation of each of these in When Work Hurts.
Three Types of Death
When the conference organizers sent me the first slide showing the three types of work hurt, the words weren’t inside the rectangles with rounded corners. They were inside shapes that looked more like gravestones. That image helped me see that each type of work hurt represents a loss or a death. Frustration, sadness, anger, and grief are natural responses.
The good news is that the Bible shows us how God’s people can recover, heal, and even build resilience in the wake of this sort of brokenness. We’re not without hope.
A Broader Application?
Since the November 5, 2024 elections here in the U.S., I’ve wondered if the categories of disappointment, disillusionment, and devastation might help some people describe what they feel as they process the outcome. To be sure, many people are elated and excited about the future. But many aren’t. They feel like they’ve been punched in the gut. They’re in a state of shock, of disbelief.
So this is an invitation to apply this framework to your work hurt. But maybe also consider if it helps you describe and process other types of pain you’ve experienced. How would you categorize your pain? Does it fall into one category or multiple? How severe is it on a scale of 1 to 10? Where is it showing up in your body? in your thoughts? in your work? in your relationships? What might make it feel better?
Another Invitation
There’s also an invitation to take your pain to God. Once you’ve paid attention to it and described it, perhaps you can tell it to God in a prayer of lament. When you subscribe to this newsletter, you get a FREE workbook to help you begin dealing with your work hurt through the practice of lament. The good news? Lament works for all types of pain. Try it out and let me know if it helps.
Countdown: Five Months
We’re just under 5 months away from the release of When Work Hurts. Remember, you can pre-order it from
By the way, I saw today that Target is running a buy 2 get 1 free deal on books right now. That means you can buy two books and pre-order When Work Hurts for free! Or you can get a discounted copy at Christianbook and Cokesbury. It’s 25% off at both of those sellers today. I’m not sure how long those deals will last, so pre-order your copy today!
Audiobook Fan?
Holding out for the audiobook? Never fear! Christian Audio is producing it, and I got to listen to a brief sample of the narrator reading chapter 1 today. I think it’s going to be great. You’ll just have to imagine the Southern accent.
Thanks for reading. If you’ve found something helpful in this post, would you consider sharing it with a friend who may also find it valuable?
This is helpful - thank you for sharing.